And then I dance. The longing

What does remain of that isolation…longing…

Bliss taken for granted.…a bottomless pit, as if the water belongs to us in their own right.

Then the voices started, two-voice dialogues and after hours conversations. Perhaps so that loneliness would not hurt so much…

During sleepless nights, I asked myself: Is it real, what we perceive? Or is it what our senses send to our brain? Can impressions be modified by components such as light, space and movement? Have you ever had the feeling of being lost in a dream?

Only a fraction of a second. A different way and the ground becomes an unstable tightrope. And vice versa. Sways of realities. Sweet and yet a bitter sensation of freedom in the course of the change of perspective, so much so that it stings in your throat.

Coming out to haunt me, I fell into the trap of disturbing thoughts night after night. When discouragement consumed me, I repeated to myself: “Live it, it´s irremediable”. Floating with my anxieties adrift, I fantasised on the idea that this mantra was my rock and that there was nothing in this world that would satisfy me more than to be within it’s protection.

Agitation washed over me in the last hours of daylight, I listened to music to exorcise my demons. In a state of trance, the four walls that sheltered me -witnesses of my turmoil- tried to transform themselves, wanting to rebuild the stage. Walls that became transparent and it reflected open spaces, creating new realities every evening and carrying me to my longings.

What do you want, child?

What is not at home…I answered them. And I danced…and I dance